The first time I ever thought about it, I was listening to the news. Listening while the Mayor of Houston was spouting off about what a triumph it was to outlaw gender specific bathrooms. What a strange goal, I thought. It’s not that I’m unaware of gender non-specific restrooms in restaurants. Trendy restaurants and bars have been rushing to them like beard trimmer sales at a sleeve tattoo shop for several years now.
Secondly we live near Carborro, NC where they collect political correctness like Scott Baio collects social diseases. So like I said, it’s not like I’m unfamiliar with single stall gender neutral bathrooms, I just didn’t understand what the sudden fuss over them was about. I mean, as a male, I’ve seen some pretty gross bathrooms in various dive bars the nation over. The Kensington Club in San Diego comes to mind with a men’s room so dank it had its own MySpace page, back in the day. I didn’t want to mess with MySpace, but here’s a link to their Yelp page. http://www.yelp.com/biz/kensington-club-san-diego?start=20
If you’re uninterested in the link, here are a few things I found their regarding the bathrooms.
– Dirty bathrooms outfitted with bizarre and creeptastic red lighting
– but the bathroom smells and the water tastes stale..
– The bathrooms are disgusting
– Women’s bathroom was clean, but smelled weird. Men’s bath was OOC when I came in.
– exchanging drugs in the bathroom
– and watching you pee any time the door’s open
– I would’ve given 5 stars if Brett (the owner) would shell out just a little bit of cash to improve the bathroom
– I really couldn’t tell if a water pipe had busted or overflowed, or if that really was piss all over the floor.
– So now let’s talk about the bathrooms… I can’t speak for the men’s but the women’s bathroom has a single stall, and had a condom dispenser in it… kind of scares me to think of some of the things that may have taken place in this tiny, port-o-potty sized bathroom…. I heard from my friend that the guys bathroom is so small you have to stand sideways to pee because there is not enough room behind the toilet to stand.
Now I understand that the Ken Club is equal gender opportunity when it comes to disgusting bathrooms. However I generally suspect that women’s rooms tend to be a more attractive alternative to men’s rooms. Why would women want to open that Pandora’s Box and curse themselves to sharing bathrooms with men, if there is an alternate option?
Then it happened. Surrounded by metal and glass with loud bass boom, boom, booming the DJ’s sound fills the restaurant. Boom tss Boom tss Boom tss Boom. To the untrained eye, it may seem I’m swaying in time to the music. I wish, in actuality, I’ve drunk two hefewiezzens and have to use the restroom but I’m second in line. A small Cuban dude is waiting patiently in front of me; we’ve been waiting for a while. Five minutes later, we’re still waiting outside the SOLE single stall gender non-specific bathroom. Who has a celebrated wine list, beers on tap and one single stall for a two story restaurant? This place does.
It’s been ten minutes, when it crosses my mind; this place is connected to a hotel, and I bet they have a lobby restroom, hopefully with more than one stall. As I make my move, the Cuban dude in front of me seems to have come to the same conclusion as we make a break for the lobby at the same time.
Thirty seconds later we are both staring at the eye height invisible spot that’s above the urinal, no matter how tall or short you are. A couple minutes later I’m walking towards the sinks, the Cuban dude is already there. As I get to the sink, I glance towards the Cuban; he’s not washing his hands. Instead he’s delightedly flopping his junk up & down, watching his reflection with a near manic smile. He leaves and never washes his hands. Yuck. While I wash my hands I think… If this was a one stall gender non-specific bathroom, I would’ve never had to see that. Now I see what the fuss is about. I’m a huge fan.
Coming soon: it’s our last stop in Miami where we hear Federal has a biscuit worth traveling and paying $6 for, will it stand up to our current favorite biscuit @ Lady & Sons in Savannah? Same time, same channel impatient readers, we’ll talk to ya’ then –The Pot and Pan Handler