It started as most things start, with a Seinfeld episode, when they compare double dipping to putting your mouth in the dip. The dreaded social faux pas of the double dip has long been frowned upon. But this Seinfeld episode spurred a Clemson study that found double dipping does transfer germs. An opportunity to be on TV brought the MythBusters on board who found the same results yet conclude, that it is mostly harmless, though at a cell transfer rate of 10, transference of a virus can be possible. After looking up what the word virus is (thanks Google) Michigan State did a study too, concluding that dip tastes good (thanks public school).
So what are we to do? Eat dry bites of carrot and celery void of even a hint of ranch, like animals? Attempt to choke down dry bits of tortilla chips with no freakin’ salsa, what are we uncivilized baboons? No. The answer lies in something that has never answered anything before, math.
We’ll need to employ a small amount of Geometric measure theory which as you already know, is the study of diverse notions of surface area for irregular objects of any dimension. Or more simply put, with a tortilla chip as our example, how to decrease the surface area of a chip for increased salsa coverage potential.
Simply breaking the chip in two, not only decreases the surface area, but also can result in a flat edge that more effectively scoops salsa, than the previous triangular point. Now with reduced surface area and a more effective dipping shape you’ve achieved a greater salsa ratio and nullified any need to double dip. Here’s a diagram.
There ya’ go dedicated readers, a comprehensive guide to avoiding the double dip. Once again, food shows us that you don’t need to eat hard, just eat smart. It works with fries, tear ‘em in half. Chicken strips? Cut ‘em into thirds. Carrots? Just cut ‘em smaller yo, like baby, baby carrots. You’ll have those baby carrots cut so small they’ll call ya’ Jared Fogle.
Coming soon: We visit the long promised Violet Hour in Chicago and our adventures with a racist, East Indian, cab driver. But first we have a recipe for brandied peach cobbler for one, and then so will you. We’ll see ya’ then – the Pot and Pan Handler