Federal Donuts Exudes Efficiency

Federal Donuts Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Coffee, Donuts, Chicken, almost as good as Beer, Bacon and Boobies, almost.

Federal Donuts

Welcome to a Federal Donuts filled Pot and Pan Handler post from the city of Brotherly Love. Today we’re talking something near and dear to our hearts… Donuts. Specifically Federal Donuts, whom have the unique distinction of serving another of our guilty pleasures, fried chicken. Two foods that fall into a unique category of foods we rarely eat because we enjoy them too much and they’re decidedly not good for you. But if you can’t enjoy a donut on vacation, when can you enjoy a donut?

Located at 1632 Sansom Street Philadelphia, PA  http://federaldonuts.com/main/ Federal Donuts is just a couple blocks away from our hotel, and it’s morning, why not get a donut and some coffee? The grey streets are bustling with crowds of, delivery drivers, well dressed business people, the destitute and pigeons. Weaving my way through throngs of fat, huffing, diabetic pigeons, I eventually find myself at Federal Donuts.

Take a number

Federal Donuts, the name itself evokes images of Government bureaucracy. Will I have to take a number and wait in a long, DMV-esque line of frustrated citizens? All that line waiting, only to be directed to another line when I finally reach the front, eventually of course resulting in a sheaf of forms to fill in triplicate.  This in order to register and pay excise taxes on a donut that will arrive 6 to 8 years later after verification of my credentials and assessment of my individual donut needs…

Federal Donuts, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Like a pride flag, Federal Donuts come in many colors.

These thoughts soon proved unfounded. Upon entering Federal Donuts is small, antiquated and more than a little quirky with ancient turn of the 18th century, school house, seating. They have a small donut menu, consisting of about a dozen varieties of cake donut and the aforementioned fried chicken. There’s a glass case that displays their wares underneath the cash register that basks in the glowing aura of their, wait for it… DONUT MACHINE! This culinary marriage of gastronomy and industry leaves me with a sweaty upper lip, efficiency, beautiful, starkly naked, efficiency. It’s like watching profits make love to tax breaks. It’s getting hot in here.

Seating at Federal Donuts Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
FedNuts seating is not for the ample bottomed.

The hypnotic perpetual motion of the donut machine hums a lullaby of industry that is reminiscent of Midwestern county fair mini-donut trucks. Like the nomadic Tom Thumb donut truck factories that circle the Midwest like vultures in the summer months. Systematically, spewing freshly fried donuts the Federal Donuts donut machine hums and a friendly employee takes my order for a cinnamon, sugar donut and a large coffee.

Federal Donuts, Donut Machine, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Hot, Naked, Donuts.

Mmmmm…. Donuts

Messy with a liberal dusting of cinnamon and sugar, these cake donuts are light, and airy, deceptively so. With a small suspension of disbelief, I could imagine that this buoyant pastry is healthy. Nothing this tasty is healthy, an unfortunate fundamental truth. However served with cake donuts constant companion, large coffee, Federal Donuts is a more than exceptional way to start your day. Their delicious cake donuts, find themselves as one of only 2 cake donuts in our donut top 10. Next time, we’ll try the chicken, if only to get a glimpse of that donut machine again.

Cake Donut at Federal Donuts, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Eat Me.
Federal Donuts Donut and Coffee Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Donuts best friend… Large coffee.

Coming soon: our Philly adventures continue, we class up this joint when we go to Bellini for upscale Italian in a stereotypical atmosphere. Datsa da spicya meataballa- the Pot & Pan Handler

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