The Early Bird gets the hashbrown

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The Pot and Pan handler: the Early Bird Gets the Hashbrowns

“Diners like interstates and an inherent dislike of Adam Sandler are quintessential slices of Americana.” – Nobody

It’s early… Not too early, it’s the kind of early you experience on vacation after an evening of doing little, while consuming much. The heat of Charleston is already slightly hotter than smoldering and we were looking for a place to escape the heat and plan the day… Fortunately just a short jaunt from our hotel is a diner with a slightly irritating name The Early Bird Diner. Although the parking lot is miniscule, there is an open spot large enough to accommodate our typically foreign made American car…

Once we commandeered our spot on the postage stamp sized lot, we entered this tiny diner with the slightly irritating name and immediately saw, what in my mind has become a good sign. If you’ve ever seen the show on the Food Network commonly referred to as Triple D or Diners, Drive-ins and Dives, you might have seen this stencil before.


The colors of narcisism? In fact if Guy Fieri were here, he’d want ya’ to see the close up so, here ya’ go…


That’s a lil’ better

This stencil essentially is a self-serving promotional tool that states that this restaurant was featured on Food Networks DDD and has the host of the show, Guy Fieri’s, seal of approval. We’ve eaten at places baring this stencil before and have found it a testament to tasty food in atypical laid back venues. Such a place is the Early Bird Diner.

Although the diner itself is only about the size of the single large stall for the handicapped in public restrooms, it somehow manages to not feel too cramped. The walls adorned with an eclectic variety of local artwork and the staff is an outspoken crew of hastily dressed outcasts with the sharp tongues of the comfortably witty.


The Pan Handler under the watchful gaze of DJ Pain-Ted

One glance around this joint and you come to a hasty realization: nearly everyone here is noisily noshing on fried chicken and waffles. A worthy dish, but I was in the mood for something else, something rarely found in diners anymore… Hash browns! Somewhere along the line diners abandoned the far superior hash brown in lieu of slinging blocks of premade, frozen, potato misery commonly referred to as American fries.

I don’t even remember what the hell else I ordered… Eggs or some shit, I don’t know or care, because the hash browns they served were off the freakin’ chain! They were a perfectly golden, rectangle of crispy exterior with an interior core of potato deliciousness. So artfully made you could pick it up and eat it like a potato candy bar… Superlative. They were so good, I even forgot to take a picture, look bitches this blog is old school, by which I mean we’re lazy. If you want some piece of over editorialized, photoshopped fluffy bullshit, try clicking on or some freakin’ thing like that.

Then when you’re done looking at food porn that’s more heavily made up than the late Joan Rivers, get that ass down to Charleston, SC and try the hash browns at the restaurant with the slightly irritating name. You might just find me there; I might even waffle and try the chicken, but probably not, not as long as they’re still serving hash browns.

Coming soon: our adventures in Charleston, SC continue when the Pot and Pan Handler eat at Poe’s. Next we got  Round 1 of the Taco Tuesday Take down, 8 Chapel Hill contenders with 8 chicken soft shell tacos… Who will reign chicken soft taco supreme.

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